It was during the last two years of my marriage. I had truly tried everything, I had tried therapy, couples counselling, romantic holidays, giving in to whatever he wanted and at some point completely loosing myself in the process. Everyone was advising me, try, do this and that, just keep trying it will get better. Because divorce is sooooo taboo, and no one will tell you, its over hun. And somehow everyone’s advice ended up indirectly saying somehow this was my fault. I had an aunt who was a therapist and she told me that I have no where to go if I get divorced because of my relationship with my mum. She told me I have to ‘Decide how much I can take’ I had no idea wtf she meant by that. Anyway so after everyone telling me I am a bad wife and I need to submit to my husband. I gave up. I truly believed that there was no such thing as real love, it was all conditional. I resigned myself into believing that my future was to submit and slave to a man that barely cared about me as a person, but liked the idea of me as a wife. A woman without a personality, a blank slate, a slave. I resigned into believing that that was all life had for me and since in the Indian culture marriage and children are everything, I believed I had to submit to that role. The dutiful wife. I gave up on any other life.
and trust me things did change
So FUCKING much
And my change catalyst was Dan
And trust me
I was NOT expecting it
he changed everything
faithlessjournal 